


brendank created the group - hoe hoe hoes

by tappingtherimskillingthesebitches



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Group chat, Mentions of homophobia, also mentions of anxiety, expect lots of memes, i'll cringe over this in 5 years just you wait, just a bit of gay fun, lots of swearing, mentions of recreational drug use / underage drinking, updated frequently bc i have no life whoops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-12 17:20:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 8,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7115167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tappingtherimskillingthesebitches/pseuds/tappingtherimskillingthesebitches
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>welcome to the eighth circle of hell<br/>a collection of messages from the meme team™<br/>i'm bad at summaries</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. christopher columbus, what a dick

_brendank added supreme meme, moon hoe and fun ghoul to the chat_  
**Brendank** \- yo hoemies  
**Moon hoe** \- already fuck this  
 _moon hoe has left the chat_  
 _brendank added moon hoe to the chat_  
**Moon hoe** \- rude  
**Fun ghoul** \- sup  
**Supreme meme** \- frank how are your legs reaching my chair to kick me  
**Fun ghoul** \- magic  
**Brendank** \- what class are you in?  
**Fun ghoul** \- English wbu  
**Moon hoe** \- history  
**Brendank** \- I’m hiding in the toilets bc fuck gym  
**Moon hoe** \- ok but Christopher Columbus was a complete dick can we all agree  
**Moon hoe** \- like seriously  
**Moon hoe** \- he just told native americans that they were indian that’s like telling brendon he isn’t super mega ultra gay  
**Fun ghoul** \- what an ass  
 _brendank changed their name to super mega ultra gay_  
**Supreme meme** \- frank I SWEAR  
**Fun ghoul** \- pete don’t take my SH OE NO  
**Supreme meme** \- get ur foot out my ass then  
**Super mega ultra gay** \- KINK  
**Fun ghoul** \- says you


	2. the new kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone likes the new kid  
> pete is a stale meme

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters in one day wow i'm so bored omg

**Supreme meme** \- I’M ADDING THE NEW KID TO THE CHAT

**Moon hoe** \- why

**Supreme meme** \- FOR THE VINE

**Moon hoe** \- stop

_supreme meme added dj spooky jim to the chat_

**Dj spooky jim** \- I’m josh why am I here?

**Moon hoe** \- I’m asking myself the same question

**Supreme meme** \- make friends josh

**Super mega ultra gay** \- hi there friend

**Dj spooky jim** \- hi there

**Moon boy** \- are you a music hoe like the rest of us?

**Dj spooky jim** \- yeah I play drums

**Supreme meme** \- yeet

**Dj spooky jim** \- pete stop

**Moon hoe** \- he can stay

**Supreme meme** \- rude


	3. georgie porgie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ryan hates everyone  
> like he really hates everyone

**Supreme meme** \- ry stop tellin me to fuck off

**Moon hoe** \- fuck off

**Supreme meme** \- y :’(

**Moon hoe** \- because you start every conversation with o shit whaddup or you call me Georgie porgie

**Super mega ultra gay** \- I’m starting a petition for ryan to change his name to Georgie porgie whos in

**Supreme meme** \- me

**Fun ghoul** \- ME

**Dj spooky jim** \- me

**Super mega ultra gay** \- majority rules George

_moon hoe has left the chat_

_super mega ultra gay added moon hoe to the chat_

**Moon hoe** \- I hate all of you

_moon hoe changed their name to Georgie porgie_

**Georgie porgie** \- fuck all of you

**Georgie porgie** \- all of you can go to hell ok

**Supreme meme** \- FU CK THI S IS TOO MUC H

**Fun ghoul** \- this isso good im dying

**Georgie porgie** \- I will have my revenge ok


	4. hatrick stump

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> family reunions and hats  
> thats about it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahaha i got home early today so expect more probably   
> sorry for putting you through this

**Georgie porgie** \- WTF PATRICK STUMP IS SO GOOD AT SINGING THIS ISNT FAIR

 **Georgie porgie** \- COME ON WTF HIS FUCKING VOICE IS TOO GOOD IM GONNA KMS

_supreme meme added krabby patty to the chat_

**Krabby patty** \- hiya

 **Georgie porgie** \- OK WHAT THE FUCK PATRICK WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME YOU CAN SING LIKE THAT WTAF

 **Krabby patty** \- . . . 乁(◔ᴥ◔)ㄏ

 **Dj spooky jim** \- Patrick my man

 **Krabby patty** \- IS THAT JOSH ?

 **Dj spooky jim** \- heya

 **Krabby patty** \- HOW ARE U?

 **Dj spooky jim** \- I’m good :)

 **Krabby patty** \- WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME YOU WERE JOINING HERE ?

 **Dj spooky jim** \- idk 

 **Georgie porgie** \- wait how do you two know eachother?

 **Dj spooky jim** \- we’re second cousins

 **Krabby patty** \- once removed

 **Supreme meme** \- sick

 **Dj spooky jim** \- do you still have that thing with hats?

 **Supreme meme** \- yeah he does

 **Supreme meme** \- to the point where’s he’s saved as hatrick on my phone

_krabby patty changed their name to hatrick_

**Hatrick** \- nice one


	5. stage manager ryan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ryan needs help  
> he really needs it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is more because i dont have a life

 

**Georgie porgie** \- all of you better be helping with the show bc I s2g is I have to work another year as the only one with any sense I will kill someone (probably pete)

**Georgie porgie** \- also I’m stage manager and if no one I like is helping I will actually flip the fuck out ok

**Supreme meme** \- awh you like us

**Georgie porgie** \- no you were the next best thing bc psyche I like no-one

**Supreme meme** \- rude

**Supreme meme** \- and anyway I’m tech crew this year as well

**Dj spooky jim** \- I’ve signed up to be in lighting

**Hatrick** \- I’m in props

**Fun ghoul** \- me and gee are doing sound

**Georgie porgie** \- good you better

**Georgie porgie** \- I need people to be hella sarcastic with and people who aren’t cast who I can mock the cast with bc I hate the cast every year.

**Fun ghoul** \- isn’t brendon in the cast this year

**Georgie porgie** \- exactly.

**Super mega ultra gay** \- TRIGGERED

**Georgie porgie** \- good.

**Georgie porgie** \- first rehearsal is Wednesday if you don’t show up I will find you and drag you to the auditorium

**Hatrick** \- got it

**Supreme meme** \- whatever


	6. dicked by a bee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> frank is very concerned about plot points in the bee movie  
> pete finds it very amusing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have had so much time on my hands ohh my god  
> i apologise for this being my fourth chapter of the day whoops

**Fun ghoul** \- did you know that one of the bee movie’s plot lines is pretty much just about a horny ass bee trying to fuck a human and then at the end the bee does get to fuck the human is it just me that thinks its dodgy that people freak out about a gay couple in a kids movie but they can accept a horny bee trying to have sex with a human and the human says yes to that and actually fucks the bee in a kids movie just seems pretty weird to me

 **Fun ghoul** \- and like the human and the bee go on dates and shit like that’s DODGY and illegal. And even if it was legal it would still be frowned upon like that woman gave up any respect that people would have had for her to get dicked by a bee like wtf

 **Supreme meme** \- tag urself I’m the horny ass bee

 **Krabby patty** \- how high are you frank?

 **Fun ghoul** \- all the weed

 **Fun ghoul** \- can Gerard join the chat ?

 **Supreme meme** – only if he is as blazed as you are because this, my friends, is fucking golden

 **Fun ghoul** \- he says yes

 **Supreme meme** \- dO it

_fun ghoul added geeluminati to the chat_

**Geeluminati** \- do you ever just think about how pony rhymes with bologna?

 **Fun ghoul** \- imagine if pony was spelty pologna

_supreme meme changed their name to spelty pologna_

**Geeluminati** \- I’m just gonna go for a ride on my pologna

 **Georgie porgie** \- you know that pologna would be pronounced like polony

 **Spelty pologna** \- leave them be this is entertaining me greatly

 **Dj spooky jim** \- i want this whole conversation on my gravestone


	7. chicken nuggets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ryan doesnt like people being late

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops my hand slipped and i published another chapter  
> sue me okay i have had nothing to do all day

**Georgie porgie** \- REHEARSALS ARE NOW WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU ALL I SW EAR TO GOD WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

**Georgie porgie** \- YOU ALL HAVE NEGATIVE TIME TO GET HERE I AM FLIPPING OUT WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ALL SO LATE I TOLD YOU 3 PM ON WEDNESDAY YOU SACKS OF DOG SHIT I SWEAR 

**Hatrick** \- omw sorry I got held back in chem

**Spelty pologna** \- *cough* I’m ill whoooooops

**Georgie porgie** \- I will BEaT your sorRY EmO ASs PeTer  

**Dj spooky jim** \- sorry I got lost and I had to ask someone where it was

**Spelty pologna** \- . . . omw

**Fun ghoul** \- I was here the whole time just lurkin’ like the lurky thing I am

**Georgie porgie** \- WHERE ?

**Fun ghoul** \- behind you, you blind chicken nugget fucker

_super mega ultra gay changed their name to chicken nugget_

**Georgie porgie** \- brendon nO

**Chicken nugget** \- brendon yeS

**Spelty pologna** \- omfg

**Geeluminati** \- oh my

**Fun ghoul** \- this is not how I expected this to go to be honest

**Georgie porgie** \- GEE WHERE ARE YOU YOU HOE

**Geeluminati** \- already here I’m w/ frank are u blind how can u miss me I have bright red hair

**Georgie porgie** \- I have OTHER THINGS ON MY MIND AT THE MOMENT THANKYOU VERY MUCH


	8. ryan has a good side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ryan isnt always a dick  
> just most of the time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> expect a few chapters today   
> whoops  
> oh and also this chapter has mentions of homophobia   
> just thought i'd warn anyone who doesnt like that kind of stuff

**Spelty pologna** \- OK SO BRENDON JUST KICKED A KID ON STAGE IN THE FACE

**Georgie porgie** \- WhaT

**Georgie porgie** \- BRENDON EXPLAIN YOURSELF

**Chicken nugget** \- I DIDN’T MEAN TO IT WAS AN ACCIDENT OMG OMG OMG OMG THIS IS SO EMBARRASING RYAN COME TO MY RESCUE

**Georgie porgie** \- why should i

**Chicken nugget** \- bEcaUSE I NEED YOU RYAN

**Georgie porgie** \- I needed that practice room last night but /someone/ was in there asleep

**Chicken nugget** \- I HAD A REALLY LONG DAY AND MY PARENTS ARE PISSED AT ME BC APPARENTLY CALLING MY GROSS UNCLE A HOMOPHOBIC ASSHOLE IS RUDE OR SOMETHING YOU CANT BLAME ME HE WAS TALKING SOME REAL SHIT ABOUT “THE GAY CROWD” AKA YOU FUCKS

**Georgie porgie** \- what so you slept at school

**Chicken nugget** \- YEAH IT MADE SENSE AND I WAS TIRED AND I DIDN’T HAVE ANOTHER OPTION

**Georgie porgie** \- you could’ve come over to mine, you ignorant little shit. My mom loves you more than she loves me

**Georgie porgie** \- I cant even count how many times you’ve slept on my couch

**Chicken nugget** \- I didn’t want to be a burden

**Georgie porgie** \- you’re a fucking idiot, urie

**Georgie porgie** \- im coming to get you

**Georgie porgie** \- you’re sleeping at mine tonight. No arguing, okay?

**Chicken nugget** \- fine

**Chicken nugget** \- thank you ryan, means a lot.

**Georgie porgie** \- just don’t let me catch you doing it again.

**Georgie porgie** \- anything like this ever happens again, you come straight to me.

**Georgie porgie** \- idiot.

**Spelty pologna** \- awhh ryan does have a soul after all

**Georgie porgie** \- fuck off pete


	9. the legend of tyler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tyler is everyone's hero

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what did i tell you

**Dj spooky jim** \- can I add someone to the chat or is that rude?

**Spelty pologna** \- go ahead

**Spelty pologna** \- I see the resemblance now Patrick

**Hatrick** \- yeah. It runs in the family

_dj spooky jim added tyco bell to the chat_

**Tyco bell** \- whats up I’m tyler joseph i'm doing spotlights with josh

**Spelty pologna** \- wait are you THE tyler joseph

**Spelty pologna** \- the one who chugged like 4 red bulls and then ran around the school climbing on shit for 5 hours and then fell asleep in the art storeroom

**Spelty pologna** \- and was found spooning a mannequin

**Tyco bell** \- that’d be me

**Tyco bell** \- i see that is my legacy and i have accepted that fact

**Spelty pologna** \- DUde you are a LEGEND

**Tyco bell** \- ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Tyco bell** \- im flattered

**Chicken nugget** \- omg my new hero

**Georgie porgie** \- rude

**Chicken nugget** \- it was never you in the first place honey

**Georgie porgie** \- i’m blocking you for cyberbullying brendon urie

**Georgie porgie** \- i'm so hurt


	10. king ryan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ryan likes being stage manager   
> almost too much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm just a hoe for publishing chapters  
> i'm going with the idea that quantity > quality  
> the musical they're doing is evita bc i'm a hoe for that show and also i did it at my school and this kind of shit did actually happen

**Geeluminati** \- ryan I need you @ the sound desk

**Georgie porgie** \- why

**Geeluminati** \- the girl playing perons mistress wants you to fit her mic

**Geeluminati** \- ngl she seems like she has a bit of a thing for you

**Georgie porgie** \- sucks to be her.

**Georgie porgie** \- I’m on my way

**Geeluminati** \- thx

**Fun ghoul** \- ryan why are you wearing a crown where did you find it

**Georgie porgie** \- because I am the newly appointed king of backstage so I had one of my lords crown me in front of a mannequin and fur coat.

_Georgie porgie changed their name to king ryan_

**Hatrick** \- it was me.

**Hatrick** \- i found the crown and he insisted i put it on him

**Hatrick** \- I am now a lord of backstage

**Hatrick** \- It was very weird and I’m still confused

**King ryan** \- what is there to be confused about

**Fun ghoul** \- from where I’m sitting, everything

**Chicken nugget** \- does that mean pete wants to be a lady of backstage

**Hatrick** \- what why

**Spelty pologna** \- brendon NO

**Spelty pologna** \- I WILL BEAT THAT SKINNY LITTLE GAY ASS OF YOURS

**Chicken nugget** \- ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	11. self-respecting fuck up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> frank's planning a party  
> it's going to be lit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my hand slipped again whoops

**Fun ghoul** \- I’m holding a Halloween party whos coming its gonna be lit as fuck

**Chicken nugget** \- me

**Tyco bell** \- me

**Dj spooky jim** \- me

**Geeluminati** \- well me duh I practically live round yours frank

**Hatrick** \- sure

**Spelty pologna** \- I’ll go if theres alcohol

**Chicken nugget** \- ry?

**King ryan** \- of course i'm coming it's to do with halloween and we all know i'm a hoe for halloween

**Spelty pologna** \- frank there better be alcohol

**Fun ghoul** \- what self respecting fuck up would hold a party without alcohol

**Fun ghoul** \- the answer is not this one there will be a lot

**Spelty pologna** \- good because I will need to get hammered and possibly high to stand ryan at Halloween

**King ryan** \- um rude

**Fun ghoul** \- oh just fyi if any of you flake I will skin you ok sweaties xx <3

**Hatrick** \- got it

**Dj spooky jim** \- I wouldn’t flake on a Halloween party I love Halloween

**King ryan** \- damn josh you are so relatable

**Dj spooky jim** \- I know I’m just your average American high-school band memeber

**Spelty pologna** \- I’m getting band memeber tattooed onto my lower back like a tramp stamp

**Fun ghoul** \- I’ll pay for two and get one done too

**Hatrick** \- you two are style icons

**Hatrick** \- true trendsetters


	12. jish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tyler wants to find josh  
> important questions are asked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the last one today i promise

**Tyco bell** \- josh where are you?

**Tyco bell** \- josh

**Tyco bell** \- josh

**Tyco bell** \- josh look at your phone

**Tyco bell** \- jish

**Tyco bell** \- josh

**Tyco bell** \- josh why

**Tyco bell** \- josh

**Tyco bell** \- shit not jish I meant josh

**Tyco bell** \- josh

**Tyco bell** \- josh

**Tyco bell** \- jish

**Tyco bell** \- fuck josh

**King ryan** \- that’s your job, sweetie

_dj spooky jim changed their name to jish_

**Tyco bell** \- Joshua dun where are you

**Jish** \- taco bell where else

**Tyco bell** \- im omw

**Spelty pologna** \- ahh, young love

**Jish** \- yeah I do love tacos

**Tyco bell** \- so do I can you tell

**Jish** \- you know, I can't actually. So you do learn something new every day.

**Tyco bell** \- its almost like I didn’t write a whole song about it

**Jish** \- wHAT

**Tyco bell** \- I’ll play it for you one day

**Jish** \- is there nothing you can’t do?

**Tyco bell** \- I can’t play drums

**Tyco bell** \- and my hair-dying technique needs a little polishing up

**Jish** \- good thing I can do both of those things to a certain degree

**Tyco bell** \- josh

**Jish** \- tyler

**Tyco bell** \- wanna start a band

**Jish** \- thought you’d never ask.

**Tyco bell** \- we’ll discuss details in a min, I’m at taco bell wave when you see me

**Jish** \- will do

**Hatrick** \- did we just witness history

**Geeluminati** \- that was magical

**Hatrick** \- agreed


	13. costumes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ryan cares too much about halloween  
> way too much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who knows how many chapters i'll put up today  
> probably too many oh well

**King ryan** \- this is important ok

**King ryan** \- I need to know what everyone is being for Halloween

**Hatrick** \- why ?

**King ryan** \- so I don’t clash bc that’s awkward

**King ryan** \- I was a mummy last year and I saw at least 2 people who were also mummies and I wanted the ground to swallow me whole

**Jish** \- ??

**Spelty pologna** \- ryan here takes Halloween very seriously

**King ryan** \- SO WHAT IF I DO

**King ryan** \- FIGHT ME WENTZ

**Tyco bell** \- well I’m going as a skeleton

**Jish** \- shit

**Jish-** well I’ll be an alien then

**Jish-** only logical move to make

**Chicken nugget-** I’m going as Gomez Addams

**Hatrick-** I’m going as the devil

**Spelty pologna-** I’m going as a sexy ladybug

**Spelty pologna-** i want an excuse to wear heels tbh

**Fun ghoul-** me and gee are going as freedom fighters

**Geeluminati-** I’m making jackets and masks and guns and everything

**Fun ghoul-** its gonna be lit

**King ryan-** Morticia Addams.

**Spelty pologna-** what

**King ryan-** that’s who I’m being

**Chicken nugget-** I’ll hire a hearse then

**King ryan-** awwh thanks honey


	14. donald trump

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> frank's sentiments of hating donald trump are shared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i mention i hate donald trump  
> because i hate donald trump

**Fun ghoul** \- okay so I just found a bunch of pictures of Donald trump who wants to burn them with me

 **King ryan-** gladly. Where are you

 **Fun ghoul-** I’m out in the forest

 **King ryan-** wow that’s helpful

 **Fun ghoul-** I’m by the dick I definitely did not spray paint onto the big tree two years ago when I was drunk and feeling edgy beyond my years

 **Spelty pologna-** I’m up for it

 **Spelty pologna-** franK u bad boy I’m telling on you.

 **Fun ghoul-** then I can tell on you about all those times you smoked weed in the bathroom on the east wing

 **Spelty pologna-** go to hell frank

 **Geeluminati-** yee I’ll burn some Donald trump pictures why not

 **Geeluminati-** frank honey I don’t think you’re in any place to lecture anyone about weed lets be honest here.

 **Fun ghoul-** shut up gee

 **Geeluminati-** that’s me told

 **Spelty pologna-** clearly

 **Fun ghoul-** so who is coming to burn the orange shit in the woods

 **King ryan-** I’m pretty sure everyone

 **Fun ghoul-** wait actually we could do it at Halloween

 **King ryan-** YEA LIKE A RITUAL SACRIFICE

 **Geeluminati-** YEEEE

 **Spelty pologna-** WE SHOULD SACRIFICE HIM TO THE FROG LORD

 **King ryan-** who the fuck is the frog lord

 **Spelty pologna-** PEPE

 **Jish-** pete stop

 **King ryan-** good timing there josh im impressed

 **Jish-** thanks


	15. pete wentz correct your spelling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pete likes to save time  
> ryan hates when he does it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sometimes i am pete  
> sometimes i am ryan

**Chicken nugget** \- GEORGE RYAN ROSS THE THIRD

**Hatrick-** ooh someones in trouble

**Chicken nugget-** GIVE IT BACK I CANT BELIEVE YOU WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

**Spelty pologna-** w8 whts happning

**King ryan-** PETER LEWIS KINGSTON WENTZ THE THIRD CORRECT YOUR SPELLING I SWEAR TO GOD THIS IS NOT 2006 WE HAVE AUTOCORRECT FOR A REASON

**King ryan-** and also bren, you know when I said I’d have my revenge ?

**King ryan-** (☉‿☉✿)

**Spelty pologna-** wow mom calm dwn

**Spelty pologna-** n y is bren angry w u

**King ryan-** IF YOU DON’T START SPELLING CORRECTLY I WILL ACTUALLY RIP YOUR FUCKING THUMBS OFF

**Chicken nugget-** THESE JEANS ARE TOO BIG FOR ME BC I AM TALL AND SKINNY

**Chicken nugget-** I NEARLY FLASHED MY FUCKING STAR WARS UNDERWEAR TO THE WHOLE OF THE CAST GIVE THE BELT BACK RYAN

**King ryan-** its in your locker

**Spelty pologna-** I’ll go get it for you brendon

**Chicken nugget-** thanks dude means a lot

**Chicken nugget-** wait is my code that obvious ?

**King ryan-** yeah

**Chicken nugget-** fuck

**Spelty pologna-** is that better ryan?

**King ryan-** that is better. Thank you pete.

**Spelty pologna-** yr wlcme bby xoxo

_king ryan removed spelty pologna from the chat_

**King ryan-** he had it coming

**Chicken nugget-** ryan no

**King ryan-** I’m the king you can’t tell me what to do

_hatrick added spelty pologna to the chat_

**King ryan-** Patrick consider your sorry ass banished from my kingdom

**Hatrick-** thank god

**King ryan-** TRIGGERED


	16. boys and girls of every age

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> brendon is too edgy  
> patrick is a cat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the longest chapter so far  
> sorry about that  
> also thanks for 500 hits like wtf why

_king ryan changed their name to pumpkin slut_

**Pumpkin slut-** ItS tImE

_spelty pologna changed their name to peteula_

**Peteula-** how much prep are you going to do today ryan?

 **Pumpkin slut-** lots.

 **Pumpkin slut-** it takes time to get this angel face looking spooky.

 **Peteula-** I’ve just realised that you can see my ass under my skirt

 **Hatrick-** actually I realised it pete.

 **Peteula-** WHERE IS YOUR SPOOKY NAME PATRICK ?!

 **Pumpkin slut-** GET IN THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT

_hatrick changed their name to catrick_

**Catrick-** there

 **Pumpkin slut-** what the fuck

 **Catrick-** I think it would be pretty damn spooky if I was a cat

 **Catrick-** but could still form proper English sentences and text them with my paws to you guys so shut up

_fun ghoul changed their name to skelefrank_

**Pumpkin slut-** whats wrong with Frankenstein?

 **Skelefrank-** I’m always Frankenstein so I’m being a skeleton this year leave me alone

_geeluminati changed their name to Frankenstein_

**Frankenstein** \- just to confuse the shit out of everyone bc confusion is hella spooky

 **Frankenstein** \- and I love Frankenstein

 **Peteula** \- I think you added an extra enstein on the end there gee

 **Frankenstein** \- fuck off

**chicken nugget changed their name to fluffkins**

**Peteula-** bren wtf

 **Fluffkins-** I’m being different and fighting the established system that everything haloweeny has to be spooky maybe fluffkins is a demon or the name satan likes to be called in the bedroom you don’t know

 **Fluffkins-** you don’t understand because you aren’t edgy enough pete that’s all

 **Peteula-** no, I understand. Its just stupid.

 **Fluffkins-** TRIGGERED

 **Pumpkin slut** \- bren I’m coming over to get changed so you can help me with this dress

 **Fluffkins-** I’ll roll out the red carpet should i

 **Pumpkin** **slut-** I wouldn’t mind, ya know.

 **Fluffkins-** fuck off

_tyco bell changed their name to bootylercious_

**Bootylercious** \- beyonce scares me a little bit and also I’ve wanted to use this 5ever

_jish changed their name to dunstiny’s child_

**Dunstiny’s child** \- am I scaring you tyler?

 **Bootylercious** \- yes as a matter of fact

 **Dunstiny’s child** \- too much to come and get Halloween taco bell?

 **Bootylercious** \- nothing will ever scare me too much for taco bell

 **Skelefrank-** listen up shitstains the party starts at 8 and if anyone has sex in my bed I swear to god

 **Skelefrank-** I’m looking at you ryan

 **Pumpkin** **slut** \- I’m sorry that this ass is too good to resist

 **Pumpkin slut** \- I’m sorry for my PERFECT ASS FRANK

 **Bootylercious** \- he is too BOOTYful

 **Peteula** \- no

 **Peteula** \- don’t encourage him tyler

 **Pumpkin slut** \- tyler you are the new lord of backstage

_bootylercious changed their name to lord bootylercious_


	17. i hate heels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pete and ryan have second thoughts about their costumes  
> ryan is on his period

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk its short like me but i needed a filler whoops

**Peteula-** I hate heels

**Pumpkin slut-** same

**Frankenstein-** then why did you wear them

**Catrick-** I could ask the same question actually

**Peteula-** I want to be taller bc if you hadn’t noticed I’m shorter than pretty much everyone

**Frankenstein-** yeah. You and frank are our pint sized pals

**Skelefrank-** um rude I have to fight you now

**Peteula-** two against one gee

**Peteula-** its in the short person code sorry sweaty

**Frankenstein-** that doesn’t answer why ryan is wearing heels

**Pumpkin slut-** JUST IN CASE YOU HADNT NOTICED YOU IGNORANT SHITS I TAKE HALLOWEEN VERY SERIOUSLY AND IF I HAVE TO WEAR HEELS TO MAKE A COSTUME WORK I WILL OK

**Pumpkin slut-** MORTICIA ADDAMS WEARS HEELS THEREFORE I WEAR HEELS AM I MAKING MYSELF CLEAR TO EVERYONE?

**Frankenstein-** looks like it’s someone’s time of the month

**Pumpkin slut-** SHUT UP FRANK


	18. all hail the frog lord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> frank gets increasingly frustrated with everyone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last one of today !   
> i have a three day weekend and i intend not to move apart from to write ᕕ(ᵔ ³ᵔ)ᕗ

Skelefrank- I’m in the yard about to make the sacrifice does anyone want to help

Peteula- OMW

Peteula- but slowly bc these heels are tough to walk in

Catrick- that’s why I’ve been telling you to take them off all night, Pete.

Peteula- no I will OUTHEEL RYAN ROSS TONIGHT

Pumpkin slut- hoe, you cant even reach my heel-ness

Pumpkin slut- figuratively and literally, short stuff

Peteula- frank can I throw ryan on the fire too

Skelefrank- no I don’t mind ryan

Skelefrank- brendon however…

Fluffkins- RUDE

Fluffkins- I’m telling on you frank that’s mean and called cyberbullying

Skelefrank- ffs who is coming to burn trump

Dunstiny's child- Patrick do you remember when you used to call farts trumps

Catrick- oh my god

Catrick- at least I didn’t call them love-puffs

Dunstiny's child- go to hell

Peteula- JOSH APOLOGISE OR I WILL HIT YOU WITH MY SHOES

Dunstiny's child- Patrick you were right, he does defend you every time anyone says anything mean

Catrick- yup but you do the same for tyler

Skelefrank- right LOOKS LIKE I’M BURNING THESE ALONE THEN

Peteula- I said im omw

Frankenstein- I’m already here so yaknow

Pumpkin slut- I’ll cheer out the window but this gay ass isn’t moving for trump

Peteula- while its burning we should chant all hail the frog lord

Dunstiny's child- pete stop

Pumpkin slut- AGAIN YOU HAVE PERFECT TIMING JOSH I AM SO PROUD

Dunstiny's child- ¯\\_( ツ )_/¯

Fluffkins- ryan I’ll carry you

Pumpkin slut- ok come and get me then

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lowkey i used to call farts trumps so i think the fact that there is technically a man running for president called donald fart is both funny and hideously terrifying


	19. always time for the lenny face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #rydenisreal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i've been out all day whoops  
> have some plot as an apology

**Pumpkin slut-** fuck

**Pumpkin slut-** oh fuck

**Pumpkin slut-** oh no

**Pumpkin slut-** help

**Peteula-** what

**Lord bootylercious-** whats wrong my liege

**Pumpkin slut-** brendon is asleep next to me

**Peteula-** so what

**Pumpkin slut-** I’M BIG SPOONING HIM OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS A DREAM

**Lord bootylercious-** so what if you’re cuddling why is it such a big deal

**Pumpkin slut-** are you both that fucking dense jesus Christ

**Peteula-** clearly

**Pumpkin slut-** I think I fucked him

**Frankenstein-** OTPOTPOTPOTPOTP

**Lord bootylercious-** gee stop.

**Lord bootylercious-** but I ship it pretty hard too ngl

**Skelefrank-** this better not be in my bed ryan

**Pumpkin slut-** it’s my bed in my house frank don’t freak out

**Pumpkin slut-** if I remember correctly your room was occupied

**Peteula-** aren’t you guys a thing anyway whats the big deal?

**Peteula-** also shut your whore mouth ryan

**Pumpkin slut-** we aren’t a thing pete

**Pumpkin slut-** also no

**Peteula-** then why do you give off serious relationshippy vibes ?

**Pumpkin slut-** because its fun

**Pumpkin slut-** but we weren’t a thing thing

**Catrick-** are you wearing underwear

**Pumpkin slut-** no fuck and my bed smells of sex and sweat and oh my godd

**Peteula-** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) u guys fucked

**Pumpkin slut-** FUCK OFF PETE THIS IS NO TIME FOR THE FUCKING LENNY FACE

**Peteula-** there is always time for the lenny face honey

**Pumpkin slut-** he’s waking up gotta blast

**Fluffkins-** oh shit


	20. bad joke apocolypse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pete thinks he's funny  
> nobody else does

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it was 3 am when i wrote this sue me ok

**Peteula** \- why don’t dinosaurs talk ?

**Pumpkin slut-** oh no

**Petula-** because theyre dead

**Pumpkin slut-** pete no

**Peteula-** whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ?

**Pumpkin slut-** pete why are you like this

**Peteula-** watching your family die

**Catrick-**   okay wow

**Peteula-** what do you call a butt scientist?

**Pumpkin slut-** oh my god

**Peteula-** an asstronomer

_skelefrank changed their name to asstronomer_

**Peteula-** what do you call a French tapeworm ?

**Asstronomer-** what

**Peteula-** a paris-ite

**Catrick-** frank don’t encourage him

**Catrick-** he’s already laughing enough you’ll kill him

**Peteula-** what kind of shoes does a thief wear?

_pumpkin slut has left the chat_

**Peteula-** sneakers

_peteula has added pumpkin slut to the chat_

**Peteula-** what do you call a sick bird that robs a bank?

**Catrick-** pete stop I’m pretty sure you’ve stopped breathing

**Peteula-** an ill-eagle

**Peteula-** okay okay one more

**Peteula-** how did the Italian chef die?

**Pumpkin slut-** if you don’t stop you’re gonna die

**Peteula-** he pasta way

**Pumpkin slut-** nope

**Pumpkin slut-** nope

**Catrick-** pete no

_peteula changed their name to pete YES_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm working on a more serious fic now too whoops


	21. birth of a band

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> remember when tyler and josh started a band

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont mind me   
> just churning out crap

**Lord bootylercious-** okay so you know how me and josh said we’d start a band?

**Catrick-** yep

**Dunstiny’s child-** WE’RE CALLED TWENTY ONE PILOTS AND ITS SO COOLA ND TYLER IS SO FUC JING TALENTED AND ITS SO COO L AND OYR FIRST SH OW US ON SATURDAY AT THJE RECOR D STORE YOU GUYS ARE INVITED

**Lord bootylercious-** dude

**Pete YES-** I’M COMING

**Fluffkins-** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Pete YES-** BRENDON URIE I SWEAR TO GOD

**Pumpkin slut-** consider me there

**Catrick-** I’d love to come

**Asstronomer-** I CANT WAIT ITS GONNA BE FUCKING LIT YOU GUYS WILL DO GR9

**Dunstiny’s child-** I’M SCREAMING THIS IS GONNA BE AMAZING

**Lord bootylercious-** I’m grinning so hard I think my face is gonna split in two

**Frankenstein-** yo I’ll come and also do you want me to design posters or something so more people will come?

**Lord bootylercious-** would you do that gee? Really?

**Frankenstein-** yeah ofc

**Lord bootylercious-** can I come over and discuss it now ?

**Frankenstein-** sure man I’m home alone (well frank is over)

**Frankenstein-** I’m pm you my address

**Lord bootylercious-** ᕕ(* ³*)ᕗ omw

**Dunstiny’s child-** DON’T FORGET ME TYLER COME AND PICK ME UP

**Lord bootylercious-** I wouldn’t dream of it, jish

**Lord bootylercious-** SHIT I MEANT JOSH

**Pete YES-** we know


	22. never fear, jish is here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tyler is nervous  
> josh does his best to help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **anxiety stuff in this chapter**  
> also thanks for 1000 hits !!!  
> actually thanks so much !!!

**Lord bootylercious-** who has the keys to the spots box

**Pumpkin slut-** me

**Lord bootylercious-** can I have them please ryan I need to get in there

**Pumpkin slut-** why the next rehearsal isn’t until next week

**Lord bootylercious-** I’m feeling a wave of Anxiety™ about saturday and I need to get in there so I’m not found crying in a closet somewhere bc that gets awkward

**Lord bootylercious-** also where is josh

**Lord bootylercious-** also pete, can you tell whoever’s taking music that I probably wont be there bc I’ll need to calm down sorry

**Pete YES-** don’t apologise ty, its cool

**Dunstiny’s child-** OMW RN DUDE YOU MIGHT HAVE TO MENTION ME PETE I DON’T LIKE LEAVING HIM WHEN HE GETS ANXIOUS

**Pumpkin slut-** come drop by English room 3 to get the keys be careful tyler

**Dunstiny’s child-** NEVER FEAR, JISH IS HERE!

**Lord bootylercious-** thanks josh, you’re my best fren

**Dunstiny’s child-** DID YOU GUYS SEE THAT TYLER CALLED ME HIS BEST FREN

_dunstiny’s child changed their name to TYLERS BEST FREN_

**TYLERS BEST FREN-** If someone can get taco bell, that would be super appreciated

**Frankenstein-** I’m on a free period I’ll get some and bring it up

**Lord bootylercious-** you don’t have to its fine gee

**Frankenstein-** I’m getting taco bell, what do you want

**TYLERS BEST FREN-** tyler is a tachoe it doesn’t matter

_lord bootylercious changed their name to tachoe_

**Tachoe-** thanks guys ♥

**Pumpkin slut-** thank josh

**Pumpkin slut-** you guys are a really good team

**Pete YES-** its nice to see

**Catrick-** wait did pete and ryan agree on something for once??

**Pumpkin slut-** he’s still a hoe

**Pete YES-** ruDE

**Catrick-** and everything goes back to normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have Anxiety™ and i find it p useful to go and hide in the spots box when things get too much   
> tyler is p much me at this point anyway whoops


	23. m'lord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> patrick is a dork  
> pete defends him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i had to take a day to recollect my thoughts after orlando.  
> stay safe everyone.  
> now read my shitty chapter that i wrote at like 2am

**Pumpkin slut-** Patrick what were you thinking omg

 **Catrick-**  what did i do ?

 **Pumpkin slut-** you fucking know Patrick

 **Pete YES-** trick wyd

 **Lord bootylercious-** yeah

 **Lord bootylercious-** what did you do me and josh are waiting

 **Pumpkin slut-** if you don’t tell them I will

 **Catrick-** I may or may not have tipped my fedora at ryan

 **Catrick-** and called him m’lord

 **Pete YES-** oh my fucking god.

 **Catrick-** you should’ve seen his face it was golden

 **Frankenstein-** HE NEARLY HIT PATRICK

 **Pete YES-** ok HOW DARE YOU RYAN I WILL END YOU

 **Pumpkin slut-** sure you will.

 **Pete YES-** I’m on my way ross, say your prayers

 **Pumpkin slut-** I’ve accepted my place in hell at this point sorry hon

 **Pete YES-** what class are you in

 **Frankenstein-** English

 **Skelefrank-** BOII HE BOUTTA DO IT

 **Pumpkin slut-** pete you are too short to hurt me

 **Skelefrank-** he just left physics ryan you are fucked

 **Pete YES-** BOII IM BOUTTA DO ITT

 **Pumpkin slut-** come and get me if you can reach me.

 **Catrick-** pete don’t hurt him

 **Pete YES-** its gone past that now trick im sorry

 **Frankenstein-** ooh shit pete just came in and got ry an im dyin g thisis amazing

 **Frankenstein-** ryan just came back in and looks very confused

 **Pumpkin slut-** he just almost hit me

 **Catrick-** phew I don’t have to call his mom its all good

 **Pete YES-** i had to defend patricks honor sorry


	24. hey there little memea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'tis a mystery whisperer in our heroes midst  
> this one is reallyy fucking stupid but its 11pm and i need something to publish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for infrequently uploading but i've been super busy with procrastinating sorry~

**Pumpkin slut-** PETE STOP RANDOMLY TURNING ON YOUR COMMS JUST TO WHISPER ‘HEY LITTLE MEMEA LET ME WHISPER IN YO EAR’

**Pete YES-** that isn’t me and honestly, I’m triggered

**Pumpkin slut-** then who the fuck is it

**Pumpkin slut-** it’s one of you I can always sense when one of you is being a fucktard

**Skelefrank-** well it isn’t me bc gee is hogging THE COMMS

**Fluffkins-** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Pumpkin slut-** BRENDON BOYD URIE I WILL BEAT YOUR FUCKING ASS I SWEAR TO THE FATHER THE SON AND THE HOLY FUCKING GHOST

**Fluffkins-** it isn’t me, but I know who it is

**Pete YES-** spill

**Fluffkins-** no bc I am a good friend

**Pumpkin slut-** no you’re not you’re an asshole

**Fluffkins-** rude

**TYLERS BEST FREN-** I have an idea of who it is

**Tachoe-** yeah I agree josh

**Pumpkin slut-** WH THE FU CK WONT ANYONE TELL ME

**Fluffkins-** you have to guess

**Frankenstein-** ooh yeah I know now

**Skelefrank-** gee tell me rn

**Pumpkin slut-** ARGH I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU ALL I SWEAR

**Fluffkins-** what did I do

**Pumpkin slut-** exist

**Fluffkins-** stop bullying me ryan

**Pumpkin slut-** where is Patrick I need to talk to him

**Pete YES-** he’s in the props cupboard

**Pumpkin slut-** PATRICK STOP IT

**Catrick-** stop what

**Pumpkin slut-** whispering into the fucking comms

**Catrick-** hehehe  >:^)

**Pumpkin slut-** FIGHT ME RIGHT NOW


	25. ryan, don't kidnap people

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone is excited about the show  
> even ryan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK SO HEATHENS IS LITERALLY THE BESTEST THING IN THE WORLD EVER OMGGG  
> ITS SO GOOD I CANNOT LIVE

**TYLERS BEST FREN-** see you all in an hour !

**Tachoe-** I’m buzzing im so excited

**TYLERS BEST FREN-** ty that’ll be the red bull/coke you’ve been drinking all day

**TYLERS BEST FREN-** you should stop because red bull makes your anxiety bad and you know it does. I’m not having you get too anxious to go on stage

**Tachoe-** okay mom

**TYLERS BEST FREN-** without you I’m just a weird looking dude with pink hair hitting the drums too hard

**TYLERS BEST FREN-** you’re key to the performance

**Tachoe-** JOSHUA DUN YOU ARE NOT WEIRD LOOKING AND YOU ARE ALSO JUST AS IMPORTANT AS ME

**Pumpkin slut-** how much are tickets I’ll bring extra and kidnap people to bring

**TYLERS BEST FREN-** its 4.50, Ryan don’t kidnap people

**Tachoe-** bad ryan no

**Pete YES-** can I kidnap people ?

**Tachoe-** no

**Pumpkin slut-** boring

**Pete YES-** ughh wheres the fun

**Catrick-** pete can you come and get me bc my mom wont let me go without someone she knows going with me

**Pete YES-** trick, you’re 17, why is your mom still so strict ?

**Catrick-** apparently I look soft and easy to attack

**Pete YES-** give me a sec I’m not wearing pants at the moment

**Fluffkins-** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Pete YES-** bren stop omg

**Asstronomer-** me and gee are already here bc gee is insisting on putting up the banner he made for you guys

**Frankenstein-** ffs frank it was meant to be a surprise u dick

**Frankenstein-** I hate u

**Asstronomer-** how could you hate this cute ass

**Frankenstein-** I’m doing it right now

**Pete YES-** what, his ass or hating it

**Fluffkins-** technically, both ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Asstronomer-** brendon why are you like this

**Asstronomer-** what would your mother say

**TYLERS BEST FREN-** ty I told you to stop drinking red bull I can see you from here

**Tachoe-** HOW

**TYLERS BEST FREN-** I HAVE EYES EVERYWHERE PUT THE CAN DOWN

**Tachoe-** . . . fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I CANNOT GET OVER IT I CANNOT IT IS SO GOOD AND THERE ARE ALREADY SOME P GR8 THEORIES ABOUT IT I LOVE THE CLIQUE


	26. rad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> brendon thinks things are pretty rad  
> ryan disagrees

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll probably post more than one today although no promises

**Pete YES-** I’m so exCITED

**Pete YES-** we could be watching the next big thing in music in ten minutes

**Catrick-** it’s gonna be so much fun to see you guys I can’t wait

**Tachoe-** or it could go really horribly wrong and you all end up hating us

**TYLERS BEST FREN-** TYLER WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THE ENERGY DRINKS I SWEAR

**Catrick-** it wont go wrong tyler, I’m sure it’ll be great

**Pete YES-** you guys’ll fucking smash it okay

**Pete YES-** ry bren where are you

**Pumpkin slut-** on our way.

**Pumpkin slut-** brendon wanted to skate here so we did

**Fluffkins-** its rad ok

**Pumpkin slut-** who even used rad any more

*catrick changed their name to radtrick*

**Radtrick-** rad

**Pumpkin slut-** oh ffs

*asstronomer changed their name to rad iero*

**Pumpkin slut-** fight me frank

**Rad iero-** ok rad when

**Pumpkin slut-** right now

*fluffkins changed their name to brenrad*

**Brenrad-** ryan don’t fight frank that’s not rad

**Pumpkin slut-** I feel so attacked

**Tachoe-** josh where are you I want a hug

**TYLERS BEST FREN-** I’m outside getting a bit of air

**Tachoe-** rad I’m on my way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter will be more writing-y   
> like actual paragraphs and everything (ooh)


	27. the hug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> josh is in denial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow alex tries to be a cool kid and write in full sentences  
> i might do this again who knows

Josh heard the door open and close, and turned to see Tyler stood, awkwardly playing with his hands. He didn’t say anything, and just walked up to Josh, who opened his arms up

“Hey, what’s up?” Josh murmured as Tyler wrapped his arms around him tightly. Josh only really felt complete like this. It was strange. He didn’t _like_ Tyler. And besides, he was certain the sentiment wouldn’t be returned, even if he did.

“What if people don’t like it? What if they think the whole show is a load of old pretentious crap?” Tyler was shaking, a mixture of cold and nerves, and Josh felt every twitch. He hated it when Tyler got anxious and doubted himself, because Josh was certain that Tyler was the most talented musician he had ever seen.

“So fucking what if they don’t like it? We’ll get better and better ty. This is our first show. I’ll be right beside you the whole time. You need me, I’m there.” Josh meant this wholeheartedly. Sure, he and Tyler had only really known each other for six, maybe seven weeks, but Josh was pretty sure he would be willing to die for Tyler.  In barely any time, they had gone from awkward introductions - with a lot of playing with their hands and staring at the ground - to knowing more than anyone else about each other. Josh knew the way Tyler tapped his foot irregularly when he was anxious, and Tyler knew how long Josh had been without sleep for without even asking. 

“I don’t want them to see my face. I brought ski masks, found them in my room from when me and Zack dressed up as thieves for Halloween. Do you mind wearing them on stage?” Tyler's voice was pleading, and Josh warmed to it immediately. Tyler could've just thrown the mask at Josh and he would've put it on, unquestioningly. 

“If it’ll help you, I’m up for it.” Josh nodded curtly and took Tyler by the shoulders. “You, Tyler Joseph, will be fine. You and I have got this. Okay?”

Tyler looked away, a blush on his cheeks “but what if we don’t?”

Josh sighed, a determined look on his face. “If it doesn’t go well, I will eat a whole bunch of bananas in one sitting.”

Tyler smiled a little, and Josh felt his pulse raise slightly. “But you hate them.”

“Exactly. That’s how confident I am in you, Tyler. In us.” Josh smiled at tyler, bathing in the warmth of his gaze. Not that he liked Tyler like that, not at all.

Tyler laughed a little, the tones a little melancholy, but still  _Tyler_. Still his Tyler. _His Tyler._ Josh liked the sound of that, but platonically. 

Josh kissed the brown haired boy’s forehead. It was a friendly kiss, nothing more. Tyler was his best friend, his best fren.

Tyler smiled and broke the hug, pulling the masks from his bag.

“Ready?”

“Let’s do it.”

Tyler looked practically electric with excitement. Josh was captivated by every move he made.

Josh didn’t like Tyler like that. Josh was also a habitual liar, and he knew it.


	28. is ryan crying?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the show through the eyes of our heroes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so 100 kudos wtf  
> thank youu !!

**Pete YES-** the lights are going down

**Pete YES-** iTs TiME

**Rad iero-** I can see josh

**Rad iero-** he waved at meeeeeeeeeeee

**Radtrick-** I’m so excited holy shit

**Rad iero-** so many people came this is going to be lit

**Pumpkin slut-** Patrick Stump watch your fucking language

**Radtrick-** sorry

**Pumpkin slut-** why are you cursing all of a sudden ?

**Radtrick-** I’m so excited I can’t not curse I’m really sorry

**Pete YES-** Patrick I’m telling your mom

**Radtrick-** OH MY GOD NO PLEASE IM SO SORRY SHE’LL NEVER LET ME DO ANYTHING EVER AGAIN EVER YOU KNOW WHAT SHES LIKE PETE

**Pete YES-** #patricksscaredofhismom2k16

**Radtrick-** I hate you pete

**Pumpkin slut-** everyone hates pete join the club

**Pete YES-** ruDE

**Frankenstien-** shut up its starting

**Pete YES-** oh shit waddup here come dat tyler

**Pete YES-** josh isn’t here to tell me to stop

**Pumpkin slut-** I am.

**Brenrad-** WHAt thE FuCK ths IS AMAZING

**Radtrick-** pete where are you

**Pete YES-** behind you

**Radtrick-** oh yeah so you are

**Brenrad-** ahhhhhhHHHHHH

**Brenrad-** I LOVE THE SKI MASKS ITS SO #EDGY

**Pumpkin slut-** bren stop

**Pumpkin slut-** but who’s down to get a ski mask after this

**Pete YES-** me

**Radtrick-** if I can wear it with a fedora

**Rad iero-** me af

**Frankenstein-** ME

**Brenrad-** yes oml

_brenrad changed their name to no.1 fan_

**Rad iero-** um no I don’t think so

_rad iero changed their name to no.1 extra special fan_

**No.1 fan-** try hard

**No.1 extra special fan-** asshole

**Radtrick-** hey nice banner gee

**Frankenstein-** thank you~

**Radtrick-** it’s pretty rad

**Pumpkin slut-** oh my god

**Pete YES-** tyler has the voice of an angel wtf

**No.1 extra special fan-** agreed 100%

**No.1 fan-** agreed 200% suck it iero

**No.1 fan-** wait why is tyler saying our names

**Radtrick-** HE’S DEDICATING A SONG TO US I’M GONNA SCREAM

**Pete YES-** THIS IS SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL

**Radtrick-** AGREED

**Pete YES-** ITS THAT TACO SONG

**No.1 extra special fan-** AWH THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER I’M SO HAPPY

**Pete YES-** is ryan fucking crying ?

**Pumpkin slut-** no

**Pete YES-** lying is a sin ryan you don’t want to go to hell do you? :^)

**Pumpkin slut-** ok maybe a little I’m emotional ok this is so pretty wtf

**No.1 fan-** I thought you said you’d removed your tear ducts ??

**Pumpkin slut-** and you believed that ?

**No.1 fan-** seemed legit

**Pumpkin slut-** you actual idiot.

**Pumpkin slut-** that’s coming from a guy who is crying over a song about fucking tacos ok

**Pete YES-** you have emotions ryan I’m so proud :’)

**Pumpkin slut-** shut up pete

**Radtrick-** PETE STOP RUNNING OFF WHERE ARE YOU

**Pete YES-** I’ve gone to the front

**Radtrick-** omw

**No.1 extra special** **fan-** ew I have a fuck buddy with the body type of a runner bean so I cant push to the front without losing him

_Frankenstein changed their name to runner bean_

**Runner bean-** well I’m sorry for being taller than you frank

**Runner bean-** it’s not that hard tbh

**Runner bean-** ow

**Runner bean-** frank come back

**No.1 extra special fan-** I’m going to pee so unless you want me to pee on you should probably let me go

**No.1 fan-** GEE HAS A PISS KINK CONFIRMED

**Runner bean-** go to hell urie

**Radtrick-** that was amazing holy smokes

**Pete YES-** AGREED YES BEST SHOW EVER WOW 11/10 IGN

**Tachoe-** thanks guys

**TYLERS BEST FREN-** SEE TY? I TOLD YOU THEY’D LOVE IT ! THAT’S BECAUSE YOU ARE REALLY TALENTED AND YOU ARE GONNA ACHIEVE BIG THINGS OK

**Tachoe-** *we are gonna achieve big things

**Tachoe-** you can’t leave now josh

**TYLERS BEST FREN-** that isn’t part of my plan ty, dw


	29. Xx_PU$$YSLAYER69_xX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idek with this one  
> help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> save me from this nothing i've become  
> i just finished throam and im still crying  
> it still hurts so good

**Pumpkin slut-** WHERE ARE YOU REHEARSALS ARE STARTING YOU FUCKS ARE LATE AGAIN JESUS CHRIST

**No.1 fan-** you called

**Pete YES-** actually guy fieri is jesus, I’ll have you know

**Pumpkin slut-** ffs

**Pete YES-** for fieri’s sake

**Pumpkin slut-** PETE STOP MEMEING AND GET YOUR ASS HERE

**Pete YES-** omw

**Pete YES-** I have mastered the art of memeing on the move

**No.1 extra special fan-** I’m lurking again

**Runner bean-** I’m with him

**No.1 fan-** that’s pretty gay

**Runner bean-** says you

**No.1 fan-** I’ll have you know that I am the number one pu$$y slayaar in the universe actually

_no.1 fan changed their name to Xx_PU$$YSLAYER69_xX_

**Pumpkin slut-** brendon you are a bottom wtf

**Pete YES-** okay wow

**Radtrick-** didn’t need that woah there

**Xx_PU$$YSLAYER69_xX-** RYAN I $WEAR DON’T DI$$ ME FAM

_pumpkin slut removed Xx_PU$$YSLAYER69_xX from the chat_

**Radtrick-** I just heard him scream from on stage that was glorious

**Pumpkin slut-** he can come back when he learns to behave.

**Tachoe-** what did I miss ?

**Radtrick-** brendon calling himself a pussy slayer

**Tachoe-** not much then

**Radtrick-** not really

**Tachoe-** ry, me and jish are here

**Pumpkin slut-** okie dokie

**Pete YES-** you didn’t change it to josh are you okay tyler

**Tachoe-** I’ve accepted that that will probably be his nickname forever so I gave up

**TYLERS BEST FREN-** so have I

**Pumpkin slut-** I’m pretty sure everyone on this group chat has given up by now

**TYLERS BEST FREN-** good point.

**Pumpkin slut-** PETE WHERE THE EVERLASTING FUCK ARE YOU

**Pete YES-** I’m in props with Patrick

**Pumpkin slut-** use protection

**Radtrick-** what

**Pete YES-** ryan if you don’t fucking stop I will fucking end you I swear

**Pumpkin slut-** you love me (´• ᴥ •`)

**Pete YES-** I feel victimised.


	30. #dickpositivity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> brendon is a revolutionary  
> i'm running out of ideas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no but seriously   
> comment any ideas or things you want ♥

_pete YES added Xx_PU$$YSLAYER69_Xx to the chat_

**Xx_PU$$YSLAYER69_Xx** – whats up hoes

**Xx_PU$$YSLAYER69_Xx** – DADDY’S HOME

**Pumpkin slut-** pete why

**Pete YES-** he threatened me

**Pumpkin slut-** with what?

**Pete YES-** you KNOW WHAT GEORGE RYAN ROSS THE THIRD

**Radtrick-** what ?

**Pete YES-** nothing

**Tachoe-** I think I know

**Tachoe-** but I’m scared of pete

**Pumpkin slut-** why hes like 2 feet tall

**Pete YES-** FUCK YOU RYAN YOU TALL NOODLY FUCK

_pumpkin slut changed their name to tall noodly fuck_

**Runner bean-** we should start a restaurant ryan

**Tall noodly fuck-** we would only serve long thin food

**Xx_PU$$YSLAYER69_Xx-** looks like my dick would be on the menu

**Tall noodly fuck-** you’re saying your dick looks like a noodle.

**Pete YES-** that isn’t a good look

**Xx_PU$$YSLAYER69_Xx-** triggered

_Xx_PU$$YSLAYER69_Xx changed their name to #dickpositivity_

**#dickpositivity** \- all dicks are beautiful

**#dickpositivity-** all dicks are gorgeous

**Tall noodly fuck-** I am the gayest person I know and dicks disgust me

**#dickpositivity-** ryan I don’t need your negativity ok rude

**Tall noodly fuck-** it’s a free country

_#dickpositivity removed tall noodly fuck from the chat_

**#dickpositivity-** it’s a free country

_tachoe added tall noodly fuck to the chat_

**Tachoe-** he is my king, I must

**#dickpositivity-** ruDE

**Tall noodly fuck-** you are the heir to my throne tyler

**Tachoe-** thank you, your majesty

**Tachoe-** it shall be an honour to receive your crown.


	31. hey now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shrek.  
> thats all i've got for this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow relearning the ukulele is a whole new world of pain

**#dickpositivity-** someBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD IS GONNA ROLL ME

 **Tall noodly fuck-** brendon stop

 **#dickpositivity-** I AINT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED

 **Tall noodly fuck-** clearly

 **#dickpositivity-** SHE WAS LOOKING KINDA DUMB WITH HER FINGER AND HER THUMB

 **Tall noodly fuck-** up your asshole brendon boyd urie

 **#dickpositivity-** IN THE SHAPE OF AN L ON HER FOREHEAD

 **Tall noodly fuck-** #stopbrendonboydurie2k16

 **#dickpositivity-** WELL THE YEARS START COMING AND THEY DON’T STOP COMING

 **Tall noodly fuck-** not unlike you then brendon

 **#dickpositivity-** FED TO THE RULES AND I HIT THE GROUND RUNNING

 **Tall noodly fuck-** brendon you haven’t run in like 3 years don’t fucking lie

 **#dickpositivity-** DOESN’T MAKE SENSE NOT TO LIVE FOR FUN

 **Tall noodly fuck-** doesn’t make sense to live for anything at the moment you are sending the lyrics to all star

 **#dickpositivity-** YOUR BRAIN GETS SMART BUT YOUR HEAD GETS DUMB

 **Tall noodly fuck-** you just stayed dumb brendon

 **#dickpositivity-** SO MUCH TO DO SO MUCH TO SEE

 **Tall noodly fuck-** is one of those things you fucking off?

 **#dickpositivity-** SO WHATS WRONG WITH TAKING THE BACK STREETS

 **Tall noodly fuck-** everything

 **#dickpositivity-** YOU NEVER KNOW IF YOU DON’T GO

 **Tall noodly fuck-** I don’t want to know

 **#dickpositivity-** YOU NEVER SHINE IF YOU DON’T GLOW

 **Tall noodly fuck-** if you are glowing call a doctor

 **Radtrick-** its 3 in the morning shut up


	32. hiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> reptiles rise up and take over the chat  
> aka pete watches youtube too much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tfw old people ruin your country by being scared of immigration and being part of a union  
> wow i am sad to be british today.  
> is there any spaces free elsewhere ??

_pete YES changed their name to the government is reptiles_

**The government is reptiles-** they’re watching

**Radtrick-** not again pete

**Radtrick-** I told you not to watch those conspiracy videos

**The government is reptiles-** THAT’S WHAT A REPTILE WOULD SAY

**#dickpositivity-** what secrets are you hiding from us Patrick?

**The government is reptiles-** what reptilian conspiracies are you a part of, ‘patrick’?

**The government is reptiles-** or should I say, HISSTRICK

_radtrick has changed their name to hisstrick_

**Hisstrick-** haha tis I, the reptile overlord of this chat

**The government is reptiles-** I KNEW it

**The government is reptiles-** I always knew you were a reptile you lizardy fuck

**Hisstrick-** that’s actually quite offensive I am a reptilian not a lizard I don’t appreciate you generalizing my culture

**Hisstrick-** this is why me and my reptilian brothers and sisters have been forced into becoming humans

**Hisstrick-** I want this chat to be a reptilian safe space

_#dickpositivity changed their name to #reptilliansrepresent_

**#reptilliansrepresent-** finally, somewhere I can be myself !

**#reptilliansrepresent-** thank you my brother

**Hisstrick-** my fellow reptile brother, let us plot evil things together

**#reptilliansrepresent-** yes lets

**The government is reptiles-** somebody save me

**Tall noodly fuck-** sorry I cant I’m one of them whoops

_t_ _all_ _noodly fuck changed their name to ryan hiss_

**Ryan hiss-** hiss hiss motherfuckers

**The government is reptiles-** frank help

_no.1 extra special fan changed their name to the government_

**The government-** we will r(hiss)e up

**The government-** hisss

**The government-** join usss

**The government is reptiles-** never

**Tachoe-** I am a proud human

**TYLERS BEST FREN-** shit

_TYLERS BEST FREN changed their name to jhissua_

**Jhissua-** whoopssss

**Tachoe-** looks like it’s just me you and gee pete

**Runner bean-** hoe you thought

_runner bean changed their name to reptile bean_

**Reptile bean-** hiss bitch

**Tachoe-** FUCK


	33. no homo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pete slips up   
> no homo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i bought all my a level text books today i want to end

**The government is reptiles-** happy anniversary babe x

**The government is reptiles-** SHIT ABORT ABORT

_the government is reptiles has left the chat_

**Ryan hiss-** Patrick

**The government-** Patrick

**#reptilliansrepresent-** Patrick

**Jhissua-** Patrick

**Reptile bean-** Patrick

**Tachoe-** Patrick

**Hisstrick-** oh no

_ryan hiss added the government is reptiles to the chat_

**Ryan hiss-** spill

**Hisstrick-** ok so maybe me and pete have been a thing for six months

**Hisstrick-** MAYBE

**The government is reptiles-** *screams forever*

**Ryan hiss-** I can actually hear you from here pete wtf you live like three houses away

**Jhissua-** rad good for you guys

**Ryan hiss-** I have a question

**Ryan hiss-** is anyone in this chat actually straight?

**The government-** me and gee aren’t

**Reptile bean-** wow subtle

**Ryan hiss-** we all knew anyway.

**Jhissua-** I’m gay for certain people

**Ryan hiss-** I know who

**Jhissua-** you say anything I will rip your throat out I swear

**Tachoe-** so basically this chat is the gayest thing on planet earth then

**Jhissua-** you could call it that

**The government is reptiles-**  lol I’m not gay I love vagina

**Hisstrick-** honey

**The government is reptiles-** I say no homo so its not gay

**Hisstrick-** honey

**The government is reptiles-** it doesn’t count of you say no homo

**Ryan hiss-** does he actually say that Patrick

**Hisstrick-** yeah every time

_the government is reptiles changes their name to no homo™_

**Ryan hiss-** you cant trademark no homo

**No homo™-** oh but I did


	34. andy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> patrick decides there needs to be a balance  
> that balance is a vegan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm working on my a level summer project rn so updates may be a little slow   
> i'm trying - x

**Hisstrick-** I’m adding andy bc we need a good influence somewhere in this chat

**Ryan hiss-** ok wow

**#reptilliansrepresent-** rude

**No homo™-** TRIGGERED

**Tachoe-** add him patrick please

_hisstrick added xvx to the chat_

**Xvx-** what the fuck is this

**Hisstrick-** hell, andy, hell

**Jhissua-** wait how do you you know eachother ?

**Xvx-** Patrick once got drunk and braided my hair. We’re pals now

**No homo™-** how come you don’t braid my hair Patrick?

**Hisstrick-** because your hair is too short

**No homo™-** what if I grow it out

**Hisstrick-** you are coming nowhere near this ass if you grow your hair out peter

**No homo™-** awh :-( no fair

**No homo™-** I think I’d look pretty sick with a pony tail

**#retilliansrepresent-** you also thought you looked sick with your red fringe pete stop

**Ryan hiss-** for once brendon makes a good point

**Xvx-** wait is it always like this here

**Jhissua-** yeahh

**Xvx-** cool cool I can live with this

**Tachoe-** josh get your ass to my house I think I’m od-ing on chalupas help

**Jhissua-** omw mr joseph

**#reptilliansrepresent-** ry why cant we have this

**Ryan hiss-** because I hate you

**#reptilliansrepresent-** babe

**Ryan hiss-** shut your ass

**#reptilliansrepresent-** does that mean you’re bottoming later

**Ryan hiss-** keep your ass open fuck you

**Xvx-** . . .

**Hisstrick-** get used to it man.


	35. what have you done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> brendon is called up to answer for his crimes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been so long i've been busy arting

**#reptilliansrepresent-** ry come over I’m sad and my parents aren’t home

**Ryan hiss-** come over to mine I sprained my ankle

**#reptilliansrepresent-** how

**Ryan hiss-** I kicked a wall in anger

**#reptilliansrepresent-** why

**Ryan hiss-** my record player wasn’t working right

**The government is reptiles-** you still use records ? wtf

**Ryan hiss-** YES I DO BECAUSE I APPRECIATE THE SOUND QUALITY AND THE WAY IT MAKES ME FEEL

**The government-** what records do you listen to, oh great oracle of music

**Ryan hiss-** the beatles mainly.

**Ryan hiss-** helps me write

**Xvx-** nothing wrong with that

**Ryan hiss-** andy can stay I like him

**Xvx-** was I on probation before ??

**Ryan hiss-** yes but now you can stay I like you.

**Xvx-** thanks dude

**Ryan hiss-** brendon is still on probation

**#reptilliansrepresent-** but I created the group

**Ryan hiss-** you hold no real power bren

**No homo™-** he has a point

**Xvx-** why did you create this brendon

**Xvx-** what have you done

**Hisstrick-** I’m with andy on this one, what did you do brendon

**#reptilliansrepresent-** I condensed the whole of the gay agenda into one chat

**No homo™-** um rude we’ve been over this i’m not gay

**No homo™-** I’m the straightest guy here

**Ryan hiss-** that’s not hard honey

**Hisstrick-** he has a point babe

**No homo™-** fuck


	36. the gayest ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ryan is pursued by a girl  
> he cant understand why

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i've been away i was busy being emo over jon walker

**Ryan hiss-** THE FIRST DRESS REHEARSAL IS IN FIVE MINUTES YOU FUCKS

**No homo™-** alright alright omw

**Ryan hiss-** you’d better be

**Tachoe-** I’m here

**Jhissua-** same

**Tachoe-** I know

**Jhissua-** I know you know

**Xvx-** I’m not involved in the show sorry

**The government-** are you any good at handling heavy shit ?

**Xvx-** yeah why

**Reptile bean-** me and frank need help putting up the lighting rig

**Xvx-** you want me to help ?

**The government-** no we just asked an irrelevant question

**The government** \- come down if you need a note I’ll forge one

**Xvx-**   I should be ok I’m omw

**Reptile bean-** rad

**No homo™-** ryan

**Ryan hiss-** what is it peter

**No homo™-** peron’s mistress just tried to ask me for your number she definitely has a thing for u

**#reptilliansrepresent-** ryan is mine he is my boy mine

**Ryan hiss-** I know bren I’m aware

**#reptilliansrepresent-** mine.

**Ryan hiss-** I don’t know how she can’t seem to tell that this ass is the gayest ass

**Ryan hiss-** I thought I just exuded gay

**The government-** you do ryan you gay exuder

_ryan hiss changed their name to gay exuder_

**Jhissua-** sorry to interrupt but legit why don’t me and tyler have a script yet the show is like next week and we have like 20 spot cues

**Tachoe-** I NEED A SCRIPT RYAN

**Gay exuder-** gee send one of your lighting minions up with the spare script

**Reptile bean-** frank

_the government changed their name to lighting minion_

**Lighting minion-** omw ty don’t worry my dude

**Jhissua-** I’ll have you know that tyler is MY DUDE

**Tachoe-** I’ve never seen josh type so fast in my life

**Lighting minion-** fuck

**Tachoe-** I’ll come meet you frank josh might kill you otherwise

**Jhissua-** damn straight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do yourself a favour and listen to sun and moon by jon walker   
> i cried too much  
> TOO MUCH


End file.
